I just now realized that my previous blog sounds like it's directed to all women. Not true. I know plenty of dudes (Kevin Barnholt =P) who complain about how girls are bitches & they don't realize what they have. It's true. Some of us girls are really stupid. Sad, but true. It takes a grown up to realize what he OR she has. Why wait until it's gone? That's nonsense. Don't allow yourself to fall for someone who is an asshole, just because that's how us human beings work. We love those who hate us, and hate those who love us. It's crazy to think about, and you're probably thinking you're not that way at all. False. Everyone has a moment in their life when they can't seem to shake the bad people influencing them to stay. The ones who are complete DICKS. Eventually, we all grow up and realize that we deserve better and we should love and consider the ones who show us compassion, love and respect. I'm very thankful for the fact that I've grown out of my stupid phase of chasing after these guys who are mean and careless. But for some, reaching that point takes longer.
It's all about finding out what you're worth. Being lonely is better than being treated like shit.
Truth.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Love, Lust, Infatuation? Whatever.
It is way too early for this. But, my head is full of thoughts and I've been enjoying this blogging thing.
I woke up this morning in the mood to love. Only problem is, I don't have any one to love. Besides Hailey, of course. When it comes to love and intimacy, do we really know if we TRULY love someone? Or is it just infatuation? Maybe just lust? Maybe it's just us wanting to be with someone so badly, that we trick ourselves into thinking we love them, so we can justify the situation.
I'm a big believer in equal relationships. Two people involved in something as serious as monogamy, or even just involved in a good friendship that could lead into commitment, should equally disperse their love. Over the past few months, I've found myself being so in love with someone who never puts any effort into the relationship. I would go out of my way to see this guy, make him happy, do anything he asked me, but I know it wasn't happening on his end. I've put up with it, and thought, 'Oh it'll get better, he will come around', but he hasn't. I've known him for over a year and even from the beginning, I thought something would blossom. I guess I was wrong. The question is, I'd bend over backwards for him (or any man I felt this strongly for), but would he do that for me? In the back of my mind, just nestled in, I know the answer. I know that he isn't willing to put effort into our relationship. I'm fully aware that most people would just look at me and wonder what was wrong with me, wonder why I'm, putting up with something like that. It's hypocrisy, because if one of my friends were in this situation, I'd tell them to leave and let it go. What's meant to happen, will happen. So be it. I'd wonder why they were allowing themselves to be strung along. As soon as you find yourself letting go, and able to get through one day without thinking about that person, they show up and there you are, back on the puppet strings, allowing someone who doesn't love you as much as they should dictate your life.
I guess the point of this blog is to let everyone know that even if you think you've found someone to complete your life, there are always other people out there to make you happy if it doesn't work out the first time. There is always someone better. Treat others how you want to be treated and eventually someone will come along - and probably at the worst times, when you're looking like shit. Sweat pants, hair up, old tennis shoes, that kind of thing. Relationships are not a one way street, even if it's just a friendship. There has to be an equal amount of effort put into it, otherwise, one person is going to get tired of giving and the other will find themselves alone and wish they would have done better. You never want to be that guy or girl who feels like they have missed out, due to lack of caring or trying. It's the worst feeling.
I had a friend come to me the other day needing to talk about her relationship with her other half. I won't mention any names, don't worry, if you're reading. She is expecting a baby soon and her and her boyfriend aren't doing so well. I am thinking he just has cold feet about the baby, and is scared. Like I told her, a woman becomes a mother as soon as she finds out she is pregnant. A man doesn't become a father until the baby is actually born. That's just how it goes. You, as a mother, have the responsibility to have everything prepared and secure for your baby. That means having the crib up, getting the diapers ready, and most of all, making sure the baby has a safe, normal environment to live in. For example, having a stable relationship with the father of the baby. Anyway, when my friend was talking to me, I could just tell she was so sad about the situation. I know first hand how it is to raise a baby as BOTH parents because Hailey's dad was never around. It sucked. It still sucks. And now, it's even worse because Hailey knows she has two parents, but only sees me. I gave my friend the best advice I could give her. I told her she needs to sit down with the father (her boyfriend) and have an adult conversation with him. They either need to A) Be together and be happy for them and the baby. Trust each other and make sure there are no grey areas. Or B) Split up and remain civil. She has to make sure SHE is happy for her little bundle of joy. If she isn't happy, the baby isn't going to make anything better. The combination of crying, shitty diapers, breast feeding, lack of sleep, AND an unhappy relationship makes for a total train wreck just waiting to happen. I told her she should definitely work on the relationship with her boyfriend first. There is nothing like the feeling of knowing that you have a tight family bond. I only got to feel it for a few months, but it was great. Having someone else with you to take care of the baby is wonderful. And nothing as minuscule as a cold footed man should get in the way of having a beautiful family.
I hope I helped her. I tried giving the best advice I could without stepping on any toes.
To you reading this, if you're in a situation that's been mentioned, I hope you have the strength to pull through and realize that YOU'RE worth more than dealing with some cowardly person who won't MAN up and show you the love that you deserve. If you have the strength to say FUCK IT, and leave, it's going to suck at first. A lot. But, eventually, you'll realize that the time you spent crying and upset was worth it because you don't have to deal with someone who doesn't care about you or how you feel. I promise you that. Everyone deserves to be with someone who makes them the happiest person in the world. However, in order to get what you want, you have to give what you feel. If you love someone, show it, let it out. It's better to say too much, than nothing at all. And if you ever feel like the love isn't equal, that you're trying harder than you should, don't hesitate to open your mouth and express how you feel. Let the other person know, even if you think it's going to cause tension.
You're beautiful. You deserve the world. Just remember, treat people how YOU want to be treated.
I feel really great about this blog this morning. I hope you liked it. Take some of my advice. I've been through a lot of shit and have learned from it all.
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I woke up this morning in the mood to love. Only problem is, I don't have any one to love. Besides Hailey, of course. When it comes to love and intimacy, do we really know if we TRULY love someone? Or is it just infatuation? Maybe just lust? Maybe it's just us wanting to be with someone so badly, that we trick ourselves into thinking we love them, so we can justify the situation.
I'm a big believer in equal relationships. Two people involved in something as serious as monogamy, or even just involved in a good friendship that could lead into commitment, should equally disperse their love. Over the past few months, I've found myself being so in love with someone who never puts any effort into the relationship. I would go out of my way to see this guy, make him happy, do anything he asked me, but I know it wasn't happening on his end. I've put up with it, and thought, 'Oh it'll get better, he will come around', but he hasn't. I've known him for over a year and even from the beginning, I thought something would blossom. I guess I was wrong. The question is, I'd bend over backwards for him (or any man I felt this strongly for), but would he do that for me? In the back of my mind, just nestled in, I know the answer. I know that he isn't willing to put effort into our relationship. I'm fully aware that most people would just look at me and wonder what was wrong with me, wonder why I'm, putting up with something like that. It's hypocrisy, because if one of my friends were in this situation, I'd tell them to leave and let it go. What's meant to happen, will happen. So be it. I'd wonder why they were allowing themselves to be strung along. As soon as you find yourself letting go, and able to get through one day without thinking about that person, they show up and there you are, back on the puppet strings, allowing someone who doesn't love you as much as they should dictate your life.
I guess the point of this blog is to let everyone know that even if you think you've found someone to complete your life, there are always other people out there to make you happy if it doesn't work out the first time. There is always someone better. Treat others how you want to be treated and eventually someone will come along - and probably at the worst times, when you're looking like shit. Sweat pants, hair up, old tennis shoes, that kind of thing. Relationships are not a one way street, even if it's just a friendship. There has to be an equal amount of effort put into it, otherwise, one person is going to get tired of giving and the other will find themselves alone and wish they would have done better. You never want to be that guy or girl who feels like they have missed out, due to lack of caring or trying. It's the worst feeling.
I had a friend come to me the other day needing to talk about her relationship with her other half. I won't mention any names, don't worry, if you're reading. She is expecting a baby soon and her and her boyfriend aren't doing so well. I am thinking he just has cold feet about the baby, and is scared. Like I told her, a woman becomes a mother as soon as she finds out she is pregnant. A man doesn't become a father until the baby is actually born. That's just how it goes. You, as a mother, have the responsibility to have everything prepared and secure for your baby. That means having the crib up, getting the diapers ready, and most of all, making sure the baby has a safe, normal environment to live in. For example, having a stable relationship with the father of the baby. Anyway, when my friend was talking to me, I could just tell she was so sad about the situation. I know first hand how it is to raise a baby as BOTH parents because Hailey's dad was never around. It sucked. It still sucks. And now, it's even worse because Hailey knows she has two parents, but only sees me. I gave my friend the best advice I could give her. I told her she needs to sit down with the father (her boyfriend) and have an adult conversation with him. They either need to A) Be together and be happy for them and the baby. Trust each other and make sure there are no grey areas. Or B) Split up and remain civil. She has to make sure SHE is happy for her little bundle of joy. If she isn't happy, the baby isn't going to make anything better. The combination of crying, shitty diapers, breast feeding, lack of sleep, AND an unhappy relationship makes for a total train wreck just waiting to happen. I told her she should definitely work on the relationship with her boyfriend first. There is nothing like the feeling of knowing that you have a tight family bond. I only got to feel it for a few months, but it was great. Having someone else with you to take care of the baby is wonderful. And nothing as minuscule as a cold footed man should get in the way of having a beautiful family.
I hope I helped her. I tried giving the best advice I could without stepping on any toes.
To you reading this, if you're in a situation that's been mentioned, I hope you have the strength to pull through and realize that YOU'RE worth more than dealing with some cowardly person who won't MAN up and show you the love that you deserve. If you have the strength to say FUCK IT, and leave, it's going to suck at first. A lot. But, eventually, you'll realize that the time you spent crying and upset was worth it because you don't have to deal with someone who doesn't care about you or how you feel. I promise you that. Everyone deserves to be with someone who makes them the happiest person in the world. However, in order to get what you want, you have to give what you feel. If you love someone, show it, let it out. It's better to say too much, than nothing at all. And if you ever feel like the love isn't equal, that you're trying harder than you should, don't hesitate to open your mouth and express how you feel. Let the other person know, even if you think it's going to cause tension.
You're beautiful. You deserve the world. Just remember, treat people how YOU want to be treated.
I feel really great about this blog this morning. I hope you liked it. Take some of my advice. I've been through a lot of shit and have learned from it all.
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Friday, February 17, 2012
WTF
So, it turns out I can't make this thing private for some odd reason. OH WELL. Keep reading & keep enjoying. Especially those of you who are "documenting" my blog posts. LOLOLOL. Suck it. Seriously, get a life. I'm sure there are other things for you to be doing, other than reading and running to HER telling HER what I say. And by HER, I think you know who I'm talking about. Snitch much? Paaaaleaaazzeeeee.
"Can we please just talk about this like adults?" HAAAAAA.
Suck. My Dick. Hard.
yum.
I'll post more. Probably tomorrow. For those of you non-snitchers who are reading this, I'll blog tomorrow and tell you all about the drama ;)
Love you babies!
"Can we please just talk about this like adults?" HAAAAAA.
Suck. My Dick. Hard.
yum.
I'll post more. Probably tomorrow. For those of you non-snitchers who are reading this, I'll blog tomorrow and tell you all about the drama ;)
Love you babies!
What you as a reader should expect day to day
First, I'd like to just mention that I noticed someone named Ashley who has become a member of my blog. I was going to say, 'I hope it's not Hailey's dads crazy, psycho girlfriend', then, I backspaced and decided that I'd like for her to read what I have to say. You may be wondering why it doesn't bother me if Hailey's dad and his girlfriend knew what I was doing everyday of my life. Sometimes, even I wonder why it doesn't bother me. I guess it's because I've realized that they clearly have too much time on their hands and always worry about what I'M doing with my time, which makes them FUCKING IDIOTS.
All that you have read above is a good seg way into my next paragraph; What you as a reader should expect day to day.
All that you have read above is a good seg way into my next paragraph; What you as a reader should expect day to day.
I'm almost a million percent positive I will be going on and on about Hailey's dad and his girlfriend and the way they have been TRYING to ruin my life - Please emphasize the TRYING while you read, because they try so hard and it doesn't work. I'm very sure you will get a rise out of my blogs when I talk about them. Which I'm very pleased about, because this blog is about me getting my thoughts out and making you, as a reader, happy. Anyway, they're nuts. Hailey is perfect with just me; she doesn't need her father, or anyone else as a father figure. "Everybody calm the fuck down, I got this!"
Pretty cute, huh?
I'm doing really great with these seg ways, because this next segment goes into a little detail about Hailey. Hailey is four. Justin, is not her dad - he is her sperm donor. She has blond hair and blue eyes, and is sure to be a total brick house, KNOCK OUT when she gets older. Most parents would be worried about that, but I'm not. I wish to establish a best friendship with Hailey, to ensure a tight bonding between the two of us. She will always be able to come to me and talk to me about anything. My mom and I have never had a close friendship, and that is definitely something I want for Hailey and I. Hailey is the most opinionated, energetic, obnoxious kid I have ever met. I'm just lucky enough to be in HER life ;). I'll probably be talking a lot about her in my blogs. We spend every day together, from morning to night. There is never a dull moment with her. She looks just like her father, but acts just like me, and for that - I am very grateful.
Hailey and I live with my parents. You can imagine how she is so very spoiled and could get away with murder in this place. That being said, I have no problem with being bad cop when it's needed. You'll never see Hailey in a public place acting a fool and causing a ruckus.(Spelling?) I know when to lay down the line and jack her up if I need to. I'm sorry I can't say the same about when she is with her grandparents.
I'm fortunate enough to have two parents who are still married. I don't think I know anyone these days without divorced parents. They are absolutely nuts. Sometimes I really think my mother is bi-polar, and my dad is her bitch. It's sad to say that my dad has been whipped...but It's not even pussy whipped, because I'm sure they don't even have relations. Too much? Oh well. Everything has been pretty smooth around here lately, but I'm not holding my breath. I praise the day Hailey and I will be able to move out and be on our own. I don't want to live with my parents anymore. It's really taking a tole on every aspect of my life. Nevertheless, they love me, and I know that. I know they would bend over backwards if I ever needed anything.
I'm unemployed right now. You can imagine how much that excites me, right? Sarcasm at it's finest. The only thing I'm living off of is child support from Hailey's sperm donor. Which is nothing. I'm sure that will change soon though. Anyway, I did just buy a car, so at least I'm mobile now. Hailey and I may be moving to Front Royal soon to an apartment. There is a waiting list & I've been bugging them like crazy lately. We will see. I'm doing the best I can for the shape I'm in, broke and all. Hailey still gets whatever she wants, and that's all that matters.
I share a ton of hilarious pictures on my Facebook and Twitter everyday. For example, the turtle above :) I will try my best to share those pictures on here as well.
Like I said, these are just a few things I will most likely be talking about on a daily basis. And if you don't like it, shove it up your ass and suck it. You don't have to read any of this, if you're not interested. But if you don't like it, I suggest you keep reading. You never know when I'm going to say something bad about you in one of my blogs ;). Run and tell THAT!
There are so many cool stories that I could tell, and I am excited to allow you into my life and share them with you. I may be young, but I've been through so much within the past years. I think It's only fair that I share them - maybe you as a reader could learn a lesson from me and some of my good/bad/ugly decisions. Please don't hesitate to leave comments on my blogs. I'd like to hear what some of you have to say. Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings...but, I might hurt yours.
Enjoy!
First day of blogging!
So, my wonderful cousin-in-law, Jenny, told me I should make a blog. I've thought about it a lot, since I always have crazy thoughts running through this brain of mine. I've just been too lazy to even think about creating one. Thanks Jenny ;). Hopefully, now that I've made this thing, I'll take the time every day to blog about my day, thoughts, stupid people & my awesome, opinionated, 4 year old bitchy daughter, Hailey. I also have one crazy family, which I'm sure I'll be blogging about A LOT. I hope you, yes YOU, like what I have to say. If you don't, just remember, that little red X at the top right of your screen is there for a reason. My thoughts and opinions are MINE, and you don't have to like them. Actually, I think the more people HATE what I have to say, the more they will come back and read. After all, those who are talked about, are obviously doing something right. Once I get this thing the way I want it to look, I'll explain more about what is to come. :)
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